It doesn't do anything to get mad when people don't do what you want them to, or understand, or change. No one really cares about anyone else more than themselves, so they're unlikely to do or change something that doesn't benefit them, especially if it takes effort. The only person I can really change is myself and that only with God's help.
That said, I find now (sitting in church when someone affiliated with MCA was there) I still have a lot of anger and resentment toward those who could have done something to help me last year and chose either to do nothing or to actively work against me. I have to admit, the thought of revenge is tempting, but I wouldn't want to do something that would really ruin someone's life (like the
First Wives' Club book).
So...what about anger and hatred? I think I do hate some of the people from last year, but not enough to ruin their lives. But Jesus said hating your brother is as good as murdering him. It doesn't seem fair. Their carelessness, neglect, and outright bad actions ruined my life last year and put a blot on my resume. Why can't I just dislike or hate them? I'm not *doing* anything to hurt them, or *not* doing something that would help them -- not like they did to me.
And I know. It doesn't hurt them to hate them, it only hurts me. It keeps me from developing as a person. And I thought I had moved on with this new school, etc. Maybe I haven't yet. I didn't realize how much resentment I still had until I saw this person in church who could have helped me and did nothing; in fact, who basically told me to "suck it up and deal with it". I know all the little textbook answers as to why I should forgive and move on, and I know I haven't been hurt as much as others. It doesn't make a difference to me; that's "head" knowledge, and I'm angry in my "heart". Maybe just venting gets it out.
