Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Night

Jupiter, Moons and Bees (from NASA)
Credit & Copyright: Russell Croman

The stars, perforating the sky,

The moon, crisply glowing in the dark,

The clouds, floating like foam on the sea,

A symphony of peacefulness.

Then a cold wind

Starts me shivering. DG 1972

3 comments:

ragamuffin child said...

Nice twist at the end...

Do you want some English-teacher comments?

Don said...

What would an English teacher say? Note the date written. I'm MUCH more mature now...yeah write.

ragamuffin child said...

well, if you really want to build the reader up to twist them at the end, use words in the beginning that have softer sounds and connotations (i.e. not perforating and crisply) and then use harsher-sounding words in the last line. Then the contrast is more sharp. Just my two cents. :)